They've Stolen the President's Brain!

Well, not stolen so much. Karl Rove, the venal, porcine Deputy Chief of Staff, often referred to as "Bush's Brain," left the White House, and Bush's employ, in Marine One yesterday. And "good riddance" doesn't even approach my emotions on this topic.

Even with the feverish rash of departures by rats... er, Bush staffers leaving their jobs to "spend more time with their families," it was long assumed that Rove would be the last to go. He had been with the man since his governor's races in Texas. If nothing else, he had the Bush Legacy to look out for. Well, screw that, Rove apparently said. He's cashing out. He has expensive speeches to give, a purported book to shop, and supoenas to dodge. The Bush Legacy (repeat after me: WORST FUCKING PRESIDENT EVER) will have to look out for itself.

What made Rove such a bastard? Gee, I don't know. Ask Valerie Plame. It was not, as suggested by some last night, that Rove put gaining, and increasing, political power above governing. They all do that. It was that Rove didn't even bother trying to make it appear otherwise. When Hurricane Katrina ripped up the Gulf Coast nearly two years ago, the simplest thing to do would've been to put the President in New Orleans as quickly as possible, helping the poor and displaced. But nope. Couldn't be bothered. Not until the political outcry became too loud to ignore.

And the War. Jesus, the War. Although I view Rove as unalloyed evil, I almost have to respect the way he played the hapless, foolish Democrats during the run-up to the Iraq War. "If you don't support our war, you must support the terrorists." It worked then. And it works today, if just in the dim cranial recesses of that solid 29% that still approves of Bush's job performance. Democrats bowed their heads and went along. And those that did still have explaining to do. Way to hobble the competition, Turd Blossom.

(Oh, and whenever I see that footage of Rove flailing about the stage as "MC Rove," at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, I am filled with so much rage I want to break all the furniture in whatever room I'm in.)

So let Karl go to collect his reward. His successes have long since soured into failures. But don't feel sorry for our lost, brainless President. You don't need a brain for what he plans on spending the next year and a half doing. I foresee plenty of legislative and policy inaction, more civil rights abuses and domestic spying, more claims of executive privilege and war, war, war. Forgive me if I keep looking at the clock.