Larry Craig and the Secret Handshake (or Foot-Tap, or Wave...)

Like they say in the commercial, life comes at you fast.

One day, you're a conservative Republican senator from Idaho, toiling in relative obscurity, fighting the good fight against tolerance and common sense. The next day, thanks to some nosy damned reporter, you are the most famous (or infamous) congressman in the land. A loathsome hypocrite to the Left, a disgusting deviant to your former friends on the Right. This is the fate of soon-to-be Former Idaho Senator Larry Craig.

Craig, as we all know, was arrested in the Minneapolis airport in June for attempting to solicit for a sex act in the men's room. He pled guilty, hoping against hope that no one would find out that this staunch family values guy was cruising the airport stalls. But last week, news of Craig's arrest was uncovered, and another one bites the dust. While us liberals quietly shake our heads at the self-hating, denial-ridden, closeted man, former allies like Mitt Romney and John McCain want his name stricken from the history books like Joe Stalin used to do. And finding he had support NOWHERE, Craig opted to bail out this past weekend.
Now I'm not getting overly exercised by the Craig fiasco. There are still enough months left this year for another right wing hypocrite to become embarrassed and exposed. Maybe two. No, what I find most fascinating about this particular incidence is how it exposed mainstream America, and the mainstream Media, to the culture of closeted, furtive gay men looking for trysts in public places.

We all heard about George Michael and his arrest for dabbling in LA mens rooms, but by the time we heard, he was a has-been, so people kind of laughed it off, like Gary Coleman working as a security guard. And he was British, anyway. Who knows what they get up to? But Larry Craig gave most of us pause. How could he know about this stuff? He's from IDAHO, for God's sake!

I remember reading about polari, the slang used by homosexuals in England in the 1950's (I think I first heard it used in connection to a Morrissey record in the 80's). For example, if a gay man wanted compliment another, he would say the man was "bona to vada," or good to look at. How this has moved, over the years, to a complex series of foot-taps and hand gestures, is I suppose, not surprising.

Things are, I imagine, very difficult for a married man on the down low (and I'll only use that tired phrase once). But, for some reason, the urban gay male subculture has always left room for the solicitation of anonymous (and often unprotected) sex. And apparently, rest stops, restrooms, and parks are prime locations.

I have been in the mens rooms at Washington, DC's Union Station (an alleged location of another of Craig's solicitations), and found the sexual tension there to be thicker than on the third season of Moonlighting. I felt uncomfortable, and got out as quickly as I could. Although I imagine sneaking covert sex acts with unknown partners might be exciting for a while, certainly, in the long term, it isn't healthy, either emotionally or physically. So, it is my hope that Larry Craig, soon to be unemployed and with plenty of time to reflect on the mistakes he's made, will free his wife from their sham of a marriage and use his new national fame to seek out a partner that is more suitable to his needs. IF he'll find a gay man to take him.