Friday, May 18, 2007

Illegal Immigration: a Topic that Defies Easy Blogging

The Blog World is not generally a world of gray areas. The Blogosphere is filled with clearly drawn heroes and villains, with very little in between. Most bloggers either think Bush is a lousy President, or they love him. They think Lost is through, or they're cautiously looking forward to its next few seasons. They either think Lindsay Lohan is an alkie, or they think she's a cokehead. Everything is either the Best. Thing. Ever. Or it sux. It's a simplistic approach, but so far, it's keeping asses in the seats.



Believe it or not, though, there are some topics out there that defy a simple black-and-white categorization. I know! But it's true. For me, one of those topics is illegal immigration. I'd like to stake out my spot on the left, and welcome all illegal emigres to America with open arms, but certain aspects of this issue make such a blanket endorsement difficult. In fact, most areas of the immigration issue should raise "yes, but" pitfalls for the Right and the Left. For example:

- American jobs are being "taken away" by the scores of undocumented workers in our country. BUT... As every hack comic on Comedy Central knows, these are back-breaking, low-paying jobs that no self-respecting native-born American would look to have. And besides that, big businesses regularly overlook their employees immigration status, only to exploit them even more.

-I completely reject efforts by the Right to demonize all Southern and Central American immigrants ('cause all illegal immigrants are from South of the Border, right?) as criminal rejects and deadly gang members. BUT... Because so much of undocumented immigration goes on underground, there are criminals who willfully prey on those seeking to enter the US. They should be cracked down on.

- And these jingoistic morons who get agitated because someone translates the National Anthem into Spanish? Are you kidding me? If there's a bigger non-issue than this to me... It's gay marriage. But anyway, who gives two shits about the National Anthem, anyway? Fuck the Anthem. BUT... Do I wish most imigrants who work in the public sector sought to have a greater command of the English language? Sure. Honestly, if I was working in Guatemala, I'd try to learn the language.

- These bordertown-dwelling racists who clutch their shotguns and make threats against women and children who pass through their land on the way to a hoped-for better life? I hope you get your wall separating you from Mexico? And then I hope they keep building. Building another wall to separate me from YOU. BUT... I don't know how I'd greet desperate, hungry people crossing my property in the middle of the night. I'd like to think I'd meet them with charity, but who knows?

- CNN's anti-immigration firebrand, Lou Dobbs, rails against illegals, for everything from raising the crime stats along the border, to importing diseases like leprosy. BUT... According to a recent 60 Minutes profile, Dobbs is married to a Mexican woman, so he can't be racist. Right?!

- The LAPD are storm-trooping scum. No buts there, at all. It's just the truth.

Hopefully, you get the message. In seeking to resolve the immigration issue, there seems to be no one solution that will satisfy everybody. And that's probably good. I doubt there is a resolution to this mess that is fair to everyone.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Note the Sarcasm

The Lord Our God, after restraining himself for 73 years, finally called home his beloved servant, the Reverend Jerry Falwell, on May 15th. One hopes that Reverend Falwell will discover as soon as possible how the Almighty feels about Falwell claiming to speak for Him all these years.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Lesson: If you do dumb shit, you might have to pay for it

It's true. If you do something that is stupid, selfish, vicious, or irresponsible, you just might be held to pay for it. Don Imus found out. Paris "Bottom Bitch" Hilton is gonna learn it soon. But there were a couple more worth commenting on in the past few days. Let's air 'em out:

1)Chris Albrecht: The Boss of HBO, apparently anxious for some fisticuffs of his own following the Mayweather/De La Hoya fight in Las Vegas last weekend, decided to rough up a female friend in front of the MGM Grand. He was subsequently arrested for choking and attempting to drag the woman who was described as his girlfriend.

In the days following, Albrecht's past dirty laundry was aired pretty quickly. In 1991, a woman was paid $400,000 to settle a claim over alleged abuse by Albrecht. Additionally, rumors of other women this guy allegedly roughed up came out. Funny how now of this ugly stuff came out until AFTER he was arrested.

Albrecht is credited with green-lighting the phenomenal original programming of HBO over the years. Programming that has set the standard for quality television series throughout the industry. But has he been sending us a message with his programming choices? Tony Soprano and his buddies at the Bada-Bing strip club in Jersey, Al Swearengen and his whore-mongering competition on Deadwood, are some of the ugliest (if most complex) misogynists on display in recent memory. Vince Chase and his Entourage buddies treat women as nothing more than ornaments to display their success. And Big Love concerns a schlub of a guy who happens to have three wives. Is there a pattern here? I mean, sure, Albrecht also brought us Sex and the City, but he expended a greater effort trying to develop a male-point-of-view counterpart to that show (the Mind of a Married Man?) than a duplicate of it and its success.

Anyway, Albrecht is history now. Good riddance. He'll complete some bullshit rehab program, maybe do a PSA, and he'll have another job within a year. The woman will be offered a sizable monetary settlement. And HBO... Well, HBO, everything will be all right with us, long as you don't fool with the Wire.

2)Akon: There's plenty of bad things you can say about Akon. He fudges his age (claims 25, when he's closer to 35). He thugs out his songs too much, trying to get get street cred. He's, um... homely? But lately, he's been dealing with rumors that he's something a whole lot worse: a molester of underaged girls.

On a concert tour for his recent smash hit album, Akon had been regularly doing a bit in concert every night. I may be fuzzy on details, but I believe it goes like this: Before the show, Akon's people canvass the audience for females willing to participate in a dance contest. Later, during the concert, after the winner has been crowned, the singer and his posse mime roughly having sex with the woman onstage, going through a number of positions. No, I don't know whether they then mime throwing her underneath a bus.

Such is the life of a music star today. Two things, however, made this little bit of business more trouble than it was worth. First of all, during a concert in Trinidad, Akon performed this routine with a 15-year-old girl. Ooops! You can probably still see it on YouTube or somewhere if you're so inclined. It's kind of ugly. He said he didn't know how old she was. Make of that what you will.

The second, less discussed factor that conspired to damage Akon's burgeoning career was the fact that he was probably getting more famous from this album than he expected to. His first record blew up, but not like this one. Vibe covers, touring with pop singer Gewn Stefani, appearing on American Idol (whoo-hoo!). Even my four-year-old son was singing, "I see you windin', grindin', out on the floor..."Dude was getting big. But behavior that might be cool for niche artists like,say, Elephant Man or Sizzla to act out onstage, are frowned upon by major pop stars. Akon became a victim of his own success.

The blogosphere went wild (ANOTHER R. KELLY!). Trinidadian authorities mumbled vaguely about looking into it. Akon shrugged. At least until the money people got involved. Verizon, the corporate sponsor of the Stefani/Akon tour, wary of the slightest whiff of their company being associated with shady sex practices, withdrew their sponsorship from the tour. And, as usual, when money gets involved, everything changes. Akon quickly issued a more detailed, definitive apology.

Now<>